Thought of the Day: Golden Silence

Silence is golden… unless you have kids, then it’s suspicious.

The Sage appreciates the value of peace and quiet — but he also knows that context is everything. For parents, silence rarely means calm serenity. More often, it signals impending chaos: crayons on the wallpaper, flour in the dog’s fur, or an unplanned “science experiment” in the bathroom.

This thought is a gentle reminder that wisdom sometimes lies in listening not for sound, but for its absence. A noisy household may be exhausting, but a quiet one usually means there’s trouble brewing — and probably a mop required.

The Sage insists that life’s truest lessons are learned in these moments of suspicious silence. After all, laughter often comes later… once the paint is scrubbed off the carpet.

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/assuredeffC

Advice of the Day: Page Perfect

Advice: Never lose your place in a book by gluing it open.

The Sage has no patience for fiddly bookmarks or folded corners. His solution? Permanently preserve your page with the judicious use of glue. True, the book may never close again, and you might end up reading it like a concertina, but at least you’ll never wonder where you left off.

Of course, there are drawbacks. Your bookshelf will resemble an art installation, libraries may revoke your membership, and carrying your favourite novel on the bus becomes a balancing act. Still, The Sage insists that real wisdom is about commitment — and nothing says commitment like bonding agent across the spine.

Besides, he argues, books are meant to change you. If you can’t change the pages, perhaps it’s only fair they change the furniture.

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/assuredeffC

Quote of the Day: Holly Moses on Organisation

Quote: “A tidy desk is the first step towards losing everything important.”
— Holly Moses

Holly Moses delights in pointing out the comic gap between ideals and reality. While productivity gurus preach the virtues of tidiness, she reminds us that the mess is often where the magic lives. That “cluttered” desk might hold ideas, scraps of brilliance, or at least the pen you thought you’d lost forever.

Her words reflect a playful resistance to perfectionism. Life isn’t a catalogue — it’s closer to a stationery cupboard that’s exploded. In her view, chaos is not a flaw to be corrected, but a landscape of possibilities.

As The Sage might add: “I once tidied my study. I’ve been looking for my beard comb ever since.”

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/assuredeffC

Advice of the Day: Half a Smile

Advice: Save on toothpaste by only smiling with half your mouth.

The Sage insists that thriftiness is all about finding creative ways to cut corners. In this case, he suggests cutting your smile in half. Not only does this reduce toothpaste consumption by 50%, but it also gives you a mysterious, lopsided air — part Mona Lisa, part dental experiment.

Of course, there are drawbacks. Friends may wonder why you’re suddenly grinning like a pirate, and dentists may stage interventions. But The Sage assures us that wisdom often looks strange at first — especially when delivered through a crooked smirk.

Besides, what’s the point of a full grin when half will do? The Sage reminds us that frugality and eccentricity often go hand in hand — or in this case, tooth in tooth.

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/assuredeffC

This Day in History — 29 September 1800

George Clayton & the Copper Paintings

Two paintings, 18 shillings, and a verdict with a twist.

🎨 The Incident

On 29 September 1800, George Clayton was indicted for a bold but curious theft:

Two paintings on copper, in gilt frames, valued at 18 shillings,
the property of William Bartlett.

These were not everyday goods like bread or cloth — they were decorative objects, art in miniature. The theft suggested either a connoisseur’s eye or a desperate opportunist.

🏛️ The Trial at the Old Bailey

By late October, Clayton stood in the dock. The indictment was read in the formal words of the court:

“George Clayton, for feloniously stealing two paintings on copper, in gilt frames, the goods of William Bartlett.”

Witnesses swore to ownership and loss; Clayton offered no convincing defence. The jury delivered their verdict:

Guilty.

⚖️ The Sentence — and the Twist

The court sentenced Clayton to a term in the House of Correction. But the record adds a telling detail:

Sentence outcome: respited.

In Georgian law, “respited” meant the sentence was suspended or later altered — often pending review by the Home Office, petitions, or administrative decisions. Surviving Home Office registers confirm that Clayton’s punishment was held in abeyance, his final fate decided beyond the published Proceedings.

🧠 Why It Matters

  • Art as property: Even modest paintings carried value, both monetary and cultural, and their theft was punished as seriously as any household burglary.
  • A repeat offender: Digital Panopticon records show Clayton appearing in multiple custody registers between 1798 and 1803, marking him as a familiar face to magistrates.
  • The law’s discretion: The “respited” sentence reminds us that justice was not always final at the Old Bailey — higher authorities could intervene, temper, or commute sentences.

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/assuredeffC

Quote of the Day: Holly Moses on Control

Quote: “You can’t control the wind, but you can at least complain about your hair.”
— Holly Moses

Holly Moses has a knack for mixing gentle wisdom with a playful wink. This quote reminds us that life’s big forces — the winds of fate, change, or weather — are outside our control. But instead of fighting them, she suggests leaning into the small, human reactions that make us laugh at ourselves.

Her philosophy turns frustration into comedy: while others rage against the storm, she notices the mess it makes of her fringe. It’s a softer, sillier kind of resilience — not ignoring life’s chaos, but turning it into a story worth sharing.

As The Sage himself might add: you can’t stop the wind, but you can always find a hat.

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/assuredeffC

Thought of the Day: Pigeons and Statues

Some days you’re the pigeon, some days you’re the statue.

The Sage believes balance is the natural order of things. Some days you soar triumphantly, strutting about with feathers unruffled. Other days you find yourself motionless, staring grimly ahead while life dumps indignities on your head. The trick, he says, is learning to laugh from either perspective.

It’s a whimsical reminder that fortune and misfortune are both temporary. No matter how lofty you feel today, you might be the statue tomorrow — and vice versa. Either way, the pigeons always seem to win.

The Sage insists that wisdom is not about avoiding pigeon days, but embracing them as part of life’s comedy. After all, without statues, pigeons would just be circling aimlessly — and without pigeons, statues would get far too smug.

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/assuredeffC

Advice of the Day: Deconstructed Dining

Advice: Impress your friends by claiming every meal you cook is ‘deconstructed’ — even if it’s just burnt.

The Sage has long insisted that fine dining is mostly about presentation and vocabulary. Why admit to culinary disaster when you can rebrand it as innovation? A collapsed soufflé becomes “rustically deconstructed.” A charred lasagne? “Postmodern interpretation of pasta.” Even an empty plate can be explained as “minimalism.”

This advice elevates every clumsy cook into a master chef. Guests may raise an eyebrow, but with enough flourish and the right tone of voice, they’ll nod as if they’ve just eaten art. And if all else fails, serve wine first — lots of it.

Of course, there are limits. Not every scorched casserole can be excused as “avant-garde,” and there’s always the risk of someone calling your bluff with an actual recipe book. But The Sage insists that confidence is the best seasoning, and nothing says confidence like presenting burnt toast as haute cuisine.

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/assuredeffC

Advice of the Day: Natural Styling

Advice: Save money on hair gel by sticking your head out of a car window at 70mph.

The Sage is always looking for thrifty alternatives, though they often come with side effects. This one guarantees a wind-swept look that no salon can rival — the kind of hairstyle that screams “rebellion” and “possibly mild concussion.”

True, this tip may ruffle more than just your hair. Bugs, road dust, and the occasional startled pedestrian may all leave their mark. But think of the savings on mousse, gel, and pomade! Besides, there’s no stronger hold than the force of a motorway crosswind.

As always, The Sage insists wisdom lies in seeing opportunity where others see nonsense. Where one person sees danger, he sees a free blow-dry — and a hairstyle that can only be described as “apocalyptic chic.”

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/assuredeffC

Advice of the Day: Prickly Alarm

Advice: Never oversleep by replacing your pillow with a cactus.

The Sage has always said that the best alarm clocks don’t beep, buzz, or sing — they stab. With this simple substitution, you’ll never hit snooze again. Instead, you’ll leap out of bed at dawn, wide awake and reconsidering all of your life choices.

Admittedly, this approach comes with minor drawbacks, such as puncture wounds, ruined bedsheets, and a strange reputation at your local garden centre. But The Sage insists that true wisdom is about effectiveness, not comfort — and nothing wakes you faster than a cactus to the ear.

Besides, mornings are overrated. After one night with this system, you’ll either be an early riser or a hospital patient. Either way, you’ll never be late again.

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/assuredeffC