Thought of the Day: Asleep


In order to fall asleep we have to pretend to be asleep.

It is not necessarily true that one must pretend to be asleep in order to fall asleep. However, it can be helpful to engage in sleep-promoting activities such as relaxation techniques or a bedtime routine to signal to the body that it is time to sleep. Additionally, avoiding stimulating activities or environments before bedtime can also aid in the process of falling asleep.

There are several strategies that can be effective in overcoming insomnia. Some of these include:

  1. Stick to a consistent sleep schedule: Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends.
  2. Create a relaxing bedtime routine: Engage in activities that promote relaxation, such as reading, meditation, or taking a warm bath.
  3. Limit exposure to screens before bedtime: The blue light emitted by electronic devices can interfere with the production of melatonin, a hormone that helps regulate sleep.
  4. Avoid stimulating activities before bedtime: Avoid activities that can be stimulating, such as watching TV or engaging in intense exercise, close to bedtime.
  5. Limit caffeine and alcohol consumption: Consuming these substances can disrupt sleep, particularly if consumed close to bedtime.
  6. Try cognitive-behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I): This form of therapy can help individuals identify and change negative thoughts and behaviors that are preventing them from falling asleep.
  7. Use of sleeping aids such as melatonin, valerian root, or other OTC sleep aid options, but it’s always better to talk to your doctor before taking any medication.

It’s important to note that everyone’s insomnia is different and that if the above methods don’t work, it is best to consult a healthcare professional.

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Advice of the Day: Torch


No flashlight on your phone?
Take a photo of the sun, and use it in the dark.

The Sun is the brightest object in the solar system. It is more than a million times brighter than the next brightest object, the planet Venus.

The brightness of a phone torch typically ranges from 10-100 lux. The brightness of the Sun is approximately 1,000,000 lux.

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The Sage and the Sea


In the depths of the ocean blue,
A wise old Sage swam into view.
With wrinkles on his weathered face,
He swam with grace and steady pace.



His hair was white, his eyes were bright,
He swam with all his vigour and might.
He knew the secrets of the sea,
And shared them all generously.



He spoke of creatures great and small,
And tales of ships that once did fall.
He sang of waves that crash and roar,
And treasures hidden on the shore.



But when the day was drawing near,
He swam away, without a tear.
For he knew he’d return again,
To swim and sing, till the end.

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Joke of the Day: Tea and Coffee

I’m about to have a cup of dangerous coffee.

Safe tea first though.

I just read that Rod Stewart has five drinks of tea a day, all of varying sizes.

The first cup is the deepest…

My Dad used to say “Take everything with a pinch of salt”.

Lovely man, made terrible tea though…

Just at the airport with my wife, I said “I wish I’d brought the coffee table with us.”

“Why is that?” she asked…

“The passports are on it…”

What do you call a sad cup of coffee?

Depresso.

My teeth were stained, so the dentist asked me, “Do you smoke or drink coffee?”.

I told him I drink it.

Patient: “I get a terrible pain in my eye when I drink a cup of coffee.”

Doctor: “Try taking the spoon out.”

Where do birds meet for coffee?

Nest-cafe.

I bumped into Bonnie Tyler in town.

“Shall we go for a coffee ?”

“Yes, sounds good!”

“Ok then, Starbucks ?”

“No”

“Costa ?”

“No!!!”…

I think she was holding out for a Nero…

Connected my coffee machine to the internet and now it’s using up all my bandwidth, getting Java updates.

I just made my hamster a strong coffee.

I don’t want him falling asleep at the wheel.

Someone broke into my office and stole all the coffee cups.

I’ve got to go to the police station later to look at some mugshots…

Stealing someone’s coffee is called mugging.

My wife is leaving me because I keep forgetting to take the old coffee filter out of the machine…

She claims it’s grounds for divorce.

It’s really hard to define ‘virtue signalling’, as I was saying the other day to some of my Muslim friends over a fair-trade coffee in our local feminist bookshop.

I quit my job at the coffee shop.

Couldn’t stand the daily grind.

It’s an astronaut’s first day on the ISS and he’s making himself a coffee.

He says to a colleague: “I can’t find the milk”

And the other astronaut grinning “In space no one can, here use cream”

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Advice of the Day: Spaghetti

Only give the kids spaghetti on bath nights.

Here are some interesting facts about spaghetti:

  • Spaghetti is a long, thin, cylindrical pasta of Italian origin.
  • Spaghetti is made from durum wheat semolina and water.
  • Spaghetti is one of the most popular pasta types in the world, and it’s a staple food in many countries.
  • Spaghetti was first mentioned in a written work in the early 14th century by a writer in the court of the Holy Roman Emperor in Venice.
  • Spaghetti is often served with tomato sauce, meat sauce, or seafood sauce, but it can also be served with butter or oil and herbs or cheese.
  • There are over 600 different shapes of pasta, and spaghetti is one of the most popular.
  • The word “spaghetti” is the plural form of the Italian word “spaghetto,” which means “thin string” or “twine.”
  • Spaghetti is often served with meatballs, but meatballs were not originally paired with spaghetti. The dish was popularized in the United States in the early 20th century by Italian immigrants.
  • Some people believe that spaghetti should be served with the sauce on top, while others believe that the sauce should be mixed in with the spaghetti.
  • National Spaghetti Day is on January 4th every year.

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Quote of the Day: Life

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”

Oscar Wilde

Oscar Wilde was an Irish playwright, novelist, poet, and essayist of the late 19th and early 20th centuries. He is best known for his comedic plays, such as “The Importance of Being Earnest,” as well as for his novel “The Picture of Dorian Gray.” He was known for his wit and flamboyant personality, and his work often deals with themes of aestheticism, homosexuality, and social class.

Wilde was an important figure in the aesthetic movement of the late 19th century, which emphasized art for art’s sake and the pursuit of beauty. He was also an important figure in the early homosexual rights movement, although he was not openly gay during his lifetime. He was put on trial for homosexuality in 1895 and was sentenced to two years of hard labor. The experience shattered him both physically and mentally, and after his release, he lived in poverty and obscurity until his death in 1900 at the age of 46. Despite the scandal at the end of his life, Wilde was celebrated as one of the greatest wits of his time and his legacy continues. His works are still widely read and performed today, and he is considered an important figure in the history of literature.

This quote is often attributed to Oscar Wilde and it suggests that many people simply go through the motions of life without truly experiencing it or living fully. To “exist” in this context means to go through the motions of life, to simply be alive, without truly engaging with the world around you. On the other hand, “to live” means to actively participate in life, to experience it fully, and to make the most of the time that you have. In short, this quote is suggesting that many people aren’t truly living and experiencing life to the fullest, but are just getting by.

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The Sage and the Snowman


A wise old Sage, with hair of grey,
Once met a snowman on a winter’s day.
With twinkling eyes and a smile so kind,
He asked the snowman, “What’s on your mind?”



The snowman said, “I’m feeling cold,
And my nose is looking rather old.
I wish that I could be like you,
Warm and wise, and full of virtue.”



The Sage replied, “My dear snow friend,
You need not worry ’til the very end.
For wisdom comes in many forms,
And even snowmen have their norms.”



“Embrace the cold and all its might,
For it’s in winter’s darkest night
That we learn to shine just like the sun,
And that, my dear, is where true wisdom’s begun.”



The snowman smiled, and with a nod,
He realized he was not a dud.
For in his own unique way,
He too could shine, every single day.



The Sage and snowman parted ways,
But the lesson of The Sage will always stay
With the snowman, now wise and bold,
A story that will forever be told.

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Thought of the Day: Time Travel

If time travel was invented, does that mean it’s always existed?

This thought depends on one’s perspective and the specific model of time travel being considered. Some theories of physics, such as the Novikov self-consistency principle and the grandfather paradox, suggest that the ability to travel through time would imply the existence of a self-consistent, predetermined timeline in which events are immutable. In this view, time travel would always have existed, but the ability to access it would be limited by our technological capabilities.

On the other hand, other theories of physics, such as the many-worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics, suggest that the act of time travel could create new, parallel timelines. In this view, time travel would not have always existed, but would come into existence as a result of the act of time travel itself.

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The Sage and the Aeroplane


The wise old Sage, a master of the skies,
Flew in his plane with a twinkle in his eyes.
With a steady hand and a heart full of grace,
He soared above the clouds, a sight to embrace.



Through the winds and storms, he flew with ease,
Guided by the stars and the gentle breeze.
His wisdom and knowledge, as vast as the sea,
Helped him navigate the skies with such glee.



With the sun on his face and the wind in his hair,
He felt alive and free, without a care.
His journey was long, but his spirit was strong,
As he flew towards the horizon, where he belonged.



With a final salute and a smile on his face,
The wise old Sage landed in his home base.
His journey was over, but his tale would remain,
Of a wise old Sage, flying an aeroplane.

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Joke of the Day: Flies

Bought a can of fly spray from the supermarket today.

Sprayed it all over myself, and I still can’t fly.

What if the fly on the wall told the elephant in the room about the skeleton in the cupboard…?

What do you call a fly with no wings?

Still a fly.

The irony is unfortunate, but the name doesn’t change.

I’ve just watched an interesting factual TV programme about a man who tries to hit insects with a rolled up newspaper…

It was a fly-on-the-wall documentary.

I’ve got a problem with insects in my house so I bought some flypapers,

Now I’ve got fifteen of them reading the sports section…

What do you call a retired fly?

A flew.

A man walked into a hardware store, picked up a can of fly spray, and asked the assistant, “Is this good for flies?”

“No, it kills them.”

I asked my daughter if she’d seen my newspaper.

She told me that newspapers are old school. She said that people use tablets nowadays and handed me her iPad.

That fly didn’t stand a chance.

Why did the fly fly?

Because the spider spied her!

I’ve just got back from fly fishing.

I caught a lovely bluebottle.

What do you call a dancing fly?

A jitterbug.

I just watched a fly crash into my window.

All it felt was pane.

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