The Sage and the Trapeze


A wise old Sage in white robes stood
Beneath the circus big top, so good
He looked up high and saw the trapeze
And knew that’s where his wisdom would please



With steady steps, he climbed the rope
His robes a-flutter, not a hope
He reached the platform, took a breath
And launched himself, with all his strength



He flew through the air with ease
His movements smooth and full of peace
He swung and flipped, with such control
The crowd below, watched in awe, as he’d roll



He landed on the platform with grace
His mind at ease, his soul in place
He knew the secrets of the swing
And shared to all, everything



For in the fly, he found the thrill
That comes with taking chances, to fulfil
And so The Sage in white robes knew
The trapeze was where his wisdom flew.


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Thought of the Day: Tobacco

Tobacco companies kill their best customers

Cigarettes were first introduced to the United Kingdom in the late 1800s, and to the United States in the mid-1880s.

In the UK, cigarette sales are estimated to be around 12.5 billion cigarettes per year. In the US, cigarette sales are estimated to be around 250 billion cigarettes per year.

Based on estimates, the total amount of tobacco used in the UK for cigarettes is estimated to be around 1,000 metric tonnes per year, and in the US, it is estimated to be around 20,000 metric tonnes per year.

China is the world’s largest exporter of tobacco. According to the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization, China exported an estimated 1.5 million metric tonnes of tobacco in 2018.

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Quote of the Day: Opportunity

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”

Thomas Edison

Thomas Edison was an American inventor and businessman who is considered one of the most prolific inventors of all time. He is credited with developing many devices that greatly influenced life around the world, including the phonograph, the motion picture camera, and a long-lasting, practical electric light bulb. Edison was born in 1847 in Milan, Ohio, and grew up in Port Huron, Michigan. He began his career as a telegraph operator and quickly moved on to developing a series of inventions, many of which were based on improving the electrical power industry.

One of Edison’s most famous inventions is the incandescent light bulb. He began working on the development of a practical electric light in 1878, and in 1879, he was able to demonstrate a working prototype of an incandescent light bulb that had a long-lasting filament. This was a significant advancement over previous versions of the light bulb, which had a very short lifespan. Edison’s design was patented in 1880 and quickly became the standard for electric lighting.

In addition to his work on the light bulb, Edison is also known for his development of the phonograph, which was the first device for recording and reproducing sound. He also invented the motion picture camera, and his invention of the kinetoscope, an early motion picture exhibition device, helped pave the way for the development of the film industry.

Edison’s work had a profound impact on society and the way people live and work. He held more than 1,000 patents for his inventions and is considered one of the most influential inventors in history. Despite his many successes, Edison was known for his perseverance and tireless work ethic. He once famously said, “Genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration.”

The quote “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work” is often attributed to Thomas Edison. It is a succinct and powerful statement about the nature of the opportunity and how it is perceived by people.

The quote suggests that many people fail to recognize opportunities when they present themselves because they are too focused on what they perceive as the drudgery and hard work of daily life. Opportunities for success and advancement often come in the form of hard work and effort, and as a result, people may not recognize them as such and may be hesitant to put in the work required to take advantage of them.

The quote may be interpreted as a call to action to people to be aware and keep an open mind and look beyond the surface in order to spot and take advantage of opportunities in their lives. It is a reminder that success often requires effort, hard work, and determination, and that opportunities for success and advancement are often disguised as hard work, so one should not shy away from it.

It also has a bit of sarcasm in it, in a way, it shows the irony of life, where some of the most valuable things come through, in hard work or challenging form, yet people still tend to neglect it.

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Joke of the Day: Royalty

Which king invented the fireplace?

Alfred The Grate.

I’ve invented a new Kings of Leon smoke alarm .

Instead of just beeping it goes, Whooooooooooooooooooohhhoooooooooooa your house is on fire.

Simba was always the last of the pride to get out of bed.

He was the lie-in king.

Why is it that so many Kings are named after fractions?

Who was King Arthur’s alcoholic knight?

Sir Ohsis of the Liver.

My wife kept saying I should treat her like a princess.

So I forced her to marry an old guy she’s never met to secure an alliance with the French.

What’s it called when a king and queen have no children?

A receding heir line

What playing cards are the best dancers.

The king and queen of clubs.

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The Sage and the Tree


A wise old Sage in white robes stood
Beneath a tree, both tall and good
He looked up at the leaves so green
And pondered what he’d yet to glean



With steady steps, he climbed the bark
His robes a-flutter, not a hark
He reached the top and let out a sigh
For the view from up there, reached the sky



He sat and meditated there
With branches swaying, without a care
He found the answers he had sought
In the rustle of the leaves, he was taught



He climbed down from the tree with grace
His mind at ease, his soul in place
He knew the secrets of the tree
And shared them generously



For in the climb, he found the peace
That comes with reaching new heights, release
And so The Sage in white robes knew
The tree was where his wisdom grew.

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Thought of the Day: Asleep


In order to fall asleep we have to pretend to be asleep.

It is not necessarily true that one must pretend to be asleep in order to fall asleep. However, it can be helpful to engage in sleep-promoting activities such as relaxation techniques or a bedtime routine to signal to the body that it is time to sleep. Additionally, avoiding stimulating activities or environments before bedtime can also aid in the process of falling asleep.

There are several strategies that can be effective in overcoming insomnia. Some of these include:

  1. Stick to a consistent sleep schedule: Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends.
  2. Create a relaxing bedtime routine: Engage in activities that promote relaxation, such as reading, meditation, or taking a warm bath.
  3. Limit exposure to screens before bedtime: The blue light emitted by electronic devices can interfere with the production of melatonin, a hormone that helps regulate sleep.
  4. Avoid stimulating activities before bedtime: Avoid activities that can be stimulating, such as watching TV or engaging in intense exercise, close to bedtime.
  5. Limit caffeine and alcohol consumption: Consuming these substances can disrupt sleep, particularly if consumed close to bedtime.
  6. Try cognitive-behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I): This form of therapy can help individuals identify and change negative thoughts and behaviors that are preventing them from falling asleep.
  7. Use of sleeping aids such as melatonin, valerian root, or other OTC sleep aid options, but it’s always better to talk to your doctor before taking any medication.

It’s important to note that everyone’s insomnia is different and that if the above methods don’t work, it is best to consult a healthcare professional.

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Advice of the Day: Torch


No flashlight on your phone?
Take a photo of the sun, and use it in the dark.

The Sun is the brightest object in the solar system. It is more than a million times brighter than the next brightest object, the planet Venus.

The brightness of a phone torch typically ranges from 10-100 lux. The brightness of the Sun is approximately 1,000,000 lux.

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The Sage and the Sea


In the depths of the ocean blue,
A wise old Sage swam into view.
With wrinkles on his weathered face,
He swam with grace and steady pace.



His hair was white, his eyes were bright,
He swam with all his vigour and might.
He knew the secrets of the sea,
And shared them all generously.



He spoke of creatures great and small,
And tales of ships that once did fall.
He sang of waves that crash and roar,
And treasures hidden on the shore.



But when the day was drawing near,
He swam away, without a tear.
For he knew he’d return again,
To swim and sing, till the end.

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Joke of the Day: Tea and Coffee

I’m about to have a cup of dangerous coffee.

Safe tea first though.

I just read that Rod Stewart has five drinks of tea a day, all of varying sizes.

The first cup is the deepest…

My Dad used to say “Take everything with a pinch of salt”.

Lovely man, made terrible tea though…

Just at the airport with my wife, I said “I wish I’d brought the coffee table with us.”

“Why is that?” she asked…

“The passports are on it…”

What do you call a sad cup of coffee?

Depresso.

My teeth were stained, so the dentist asked me, “Do you smoke or drink coffee?”.

I told him I drink it.

Patient: “I get a terrible pain in my eye when I drink a cup of coffee.”

Doctor: “Try taking the spoon out.”

Where do birds meet for coffee?

Nest-cafe.

I bumped into Bonnie Tyler in town.

“Shall we go for a coffee ?”

“Yes, sounds good!”

“Ok then, Starbucks ?”

“No”

“Costa ?”

“No!!!”…

I think she was holding out for a Nero…

Connected my coffee machine to the internet and now it’s using up all my bandwidth, getting Java updates.

I just made my hamster a strong coffee.

I don’t want him falling asleep at the wheel.

Someone broke into my office and stole all the coffee cups.

I’ve got to go to the police station later to look at some mugshots…

Stealing someone’s coffee is called mugging.

My wife is leaving me because I keep forgetting to take the old coffee filter out of the machine…

She claims it’s grounds for divorce.

It’s really hard to define ‘virtue signalling’, as I was saying the other day to some of my Muslim friends over a fair-trade coffee in our local feminist bookshop.

I quit my job at the coffee shop.

Couldn’t stand the daily grind.

It’s an astronaut’s first day on the ISS and he’s making himself a coffee.

He says to a colleague: “I can’t find the milk”

And the other astronaut grinning “In space no one can, here use cream”

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Advice of the Day: Spaghetti

Only give the kids spaghetti on bath nights.

Here are some interesting facts about spaghetti:

  • Spaghetti is a long, thin, cylindrical pasta of Italian origin.
  • Spaghetti is made from durum wheat semolina and water.
  • Spaghetti is one of the most popular pasta types in the world, and it’s a staple food in many countries.
  • Spaghetti was first mentioned in a written work in the early 14th century by a writer in the court of the Holy Roman Emperor in Venice.
  • Spaghetti is often served with tomato sauce, meat sauce, or seafood sauce, but it can also be served with butter or oil and herbs or cheese.
  • There are over 600 different shapes of pasta, and spaghetti is one of the most popular.
  • The word “spaghetti” is the plural form of the Italian word “spaghetto,” which means “thin string” or “twine.”
  • Spaghetti is often served with meatballs, but meatballs were not originally paired with spaghetti. The dish was popularized in the United States in the early 20th century by Italian immigrants.
  • Some people believe that spaghetti should be served with the sauce on top, while others believe that the sauce should be mixed in with the spaghetti.
  • National Spaghetti Day is on January 4th every year.

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