The Sage and the Dolphin


A wise old Sage with a twinkle in his eye,
Decided to try something new under in the sky,
He mounted a dolphin with grace and with care,
And set off to surf, to who knew where.



The waves were high, but The Sage held on tight,
As the dolphin below, swam with all its might,
With every dip and every glide,
The Sage felt alive, on this magical ride.



They surfed all day, till the sun set in the west,
And The Sage knew, he’d truly been blessed,
For this experience, he’d never forget,
Surfing on a dolphin’s back, he’d not regret.



So let’s all learn, from this wise old Sage,
That life is an adventure, at every age,
Embrace the unknown, take a chance, be bold,
And you too, may find joy, beyond what you’re told.

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Joke of the Day: Thursday’s truckload of titters ….

I’m tired of following my dreams.

I’m just going to ask them where they are going and meet up with them later.

What does a pirate pay for his corn?

A buccaneer!

What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?

They will give you a piece of your mind.

A magician was driving down the street and then he turned into a driveway.

“I once played golf with the actors from The A-Team but we only managed 17 holes…”

“Missed a tee?”

“Yeah, he was there of course.”

My Wife is threatening to leave me because of my constant celebrity name dropping…

David Beckham warned me that this might happen.

“Doctor, can you hurry up and help me, I’m shrinking!”

“Well, you’ll just have to be a little patient…”

I’ve just finished writing a book on snakes.

It would have been much easier if I’d just written it on paper…

Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together,

but only one of them knows.

My mate Jim Apple gets a lot of grief when people ask who he is in France.

I was going to donate blood today, but they always ask way too many personal questions.

Like, “Whose blood is this”, and, “Where did you get it?”

What do you call Elvis sitting on a chair?

Pelvis Restly.

I couldn’t undo the buttons on my sweater so I tried pulling it over my head but it got stuck.

I’m at the hospital now, waiting to see a cardyologist.

How does a computer get drunk?

It takes screen shots.

The other day, I rang the Speaking Clock.

It said, “what’s the matter, can’t you afford a watch?”

“Are you too lazy to lift your arm up you idiot?… “

It was Greenwich Mean Time.

My daughter told me she saw a deer on the way to school.

Me: “How do you know it was going to school?”

What do you call a mortician that steals dead people’s underwear?

An Undietaker.

My wife asked me “What is a unit of power?”

I replied “correct”.

I bought a knife that can cut through four loaves of bread at once.

It’s a four loaf cleaver.

What’s an acorn?

In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.

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Advice of the Day: Ploughing

Life is simpler when you plough around the stump.

The saying “Life is simpler when you plough around the stump” is a metaphor that means it is easier to avoid an obstacle than to confront it directly. The metaphor is derived from the practice of plowing a field with a team of horses, where stumps or other obstructions in the field can cause problems. Plowing around the stump means going around the obstacle rather than trying to remove it, which can be time-consuming and difficult. In a broader sense, the saying suggests that it is often more efficient to find a workaround or alternative solution than to face a problem head-on, especially if the problem is particularly challenging or entrenched. The saying is often used to encourage people to be resourceful and creative in finding ways to work around obstacles and challenges in life.

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Thought of the Day: Fish

If humans can’t see air, can fish see water?

Fish live in water and their eyes are adapted to see in their underwater environment, just as human eyes are adapted to see in air. While humans cannot see air, fish cannot see the air either, but they can see the water in which they live. Water has a different refractive index than air, which affects how light travels and is perceived by the eyes. Additionally, water absorbs different colors of light more efficiently than air, which affects the way objects and colors appear underwater. Therefore, fish have evolved specialized eyes that allow them to see in their underwater environment and navigate their surroundings, just as humans have evolved specialized eyes to see in the air and navigate their environment.

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This Day in History: April 12th

Here are 10 significant events that happened on April 12 throughout history:

  1. 1861 – The American Civil War began when Confederate forces fired on Fort Sumter in South Carolina.
  2. 1945 – President Franklin D. Roosevelt died in Warm Springs, Georgia. He was succeeded by Vice President Harry S. Truman.
  3. 1961 – Yuri Gagarin became the first human to travel into space when he completed a 108-minute orbit of the Earth aboard the Vostok 1 spacecraft.
  4. 1981 – The first space shuttle, Columbia, was launched on its maiden voyage.
  5. 1990 – The Hubble Space Telescope was launched from the space shuttle Discovery.
  6. 2002 – The first public version of Mozilla Firefox web browser was released.
  7. 2009 – North Korea launched a long-range rocket, which it claimed was to put a satellite into orbit, but which other countries saw as a disguised missile test.
  8. 2018 – The Pulitzer Prize winners were announced, including Kendrick Lamar becoming the first rapper to win the Pulitzer for Music.
  9. 2020 – Bernie Sanders dropped out of the race for the Democratic presidential nomination, effectively clearing the way for Joe Biden to become the nominee.
  10. 2021 – Russia announced it was moving troops and military equipment to the border with Ukraine, causing concern in the international community.

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This Day in History: April 6th

Here are 10 important things that happened in history on April 6:

  • 1896: The first modern Olympic Games were held in Athens, Greece.
  • 1909: Robert Peary claimed to have reached the North Pole.
  • 1917: The United States entered World War I.
  • 1930: Mahatma Gandhi began his Salt March in India, a major protest against British rule.
  • 1941: Germany invaded Yugoslavia and Greece.
  • 1968: Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated in Memphis, Tennessee.
  • 1975: The last American troops left Vietnam.
  • 1994: The presidents of Rwanda and Burundi were killed in a plane crash, sparking the Rwandan genocide.
  • 2001: The Space Shuttle Columbia disintegrated during re-entry, killing all seven astronauts on board.
  • 2010: A massive earthquake and tsunami struck Japan, killing more than 18,000 people and causing widespread damage.

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The 10 best Baby Quotes of all time?

Here my ten favourite quotes on babies:

1. “A baby is God’s opinion that the world should go on.” – Carl Sandburg
2. “Babies are such a nice way to start people.” – Don Herold
3. “A baby is born with a need to be loved – and never outgrows it.” – Frank A. Clark
4. “A baby is a blank check made payable to the human race.” – Barbara Christine Seifert
5. “Babies are always more trouble than you thought – and more wonderful than you ever dreamed.” – Charles Osgood
6. “A baby is a little bit of heaven on earth.” – Unknown
7. “A new baby is like the beginning of all things – wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities.” – Eda J. Le Shan
8. “A baby fills a place in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown
9. “Babies are like little suns that, in a magical way, bring warmth, happiness and light into our lives.” – Kartini Diapari-Oengider
10. “A baby is the best gift you can ever receive – it’s a bundle of joy that you can hold in your arms.” – Unknown

Do you agree? Would you add to, subtract, or substitute any of the above? If so I’ll be happy to read your comments below.

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The Sage invents Bingo


Once upon a time, in a land far away,
Lived a wise old Sage, known for his wit and his sway,
He sat and thought until an idea to him came,
And he said aloud, “Why not invent a new game?”



With a spark in his eye and a smile on his face,
He set out to craft a game that was fun and embraced,
He pondered and thought, then he grabbed his quill,
And began to write, the rules of a brand new thrill.



He called it Bingo, a name that was bright,
A game of chance, where luck was the light,
With numbers and letters, and a card to mark,
It quickly became, a game that was hot in the park.



And so The Sage sat, and watched with delight,
As the players shouted “Bingo!” in the warm summer night,
The wise old sage had crafted a game,
That would bring joy and fun, with no one to blame.


The wise old Sage with hair of grey,
Has landed a fabulous new job today,
His wisdom still true, no longer just a Sage,
As a bingo caller, his voice will now engage,



With microphone in hand and a smile on his face,
He takes to the stage with a new found grace,
He calls out the numbers like a seasoned bard,
That players can’t help but respond and mark their card.



“B-7, N-35, and I-26,” he’ll say,
And players will shout, “That’s my lucky day!”
With every call, his reputation will grow,
And soon, he’ll be the best bingo caller you know!



So let’s give a cheer, for this wise old Sage,
And wish him all the luck that he will engage,
In this new career, he will never waver,
He’ll bring joy and fun for us all to savour!

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Thought of the Day: Murder

Left handed people are less likely to get away with murder.

Oh, but it is not true that left-handed people are less likely to get away with murder! There is no scientific evidence to support the idea that left-handed people are more likely to commit crimes or be caught for them.

In fact, handedness has no significant correlation with criminality or criminal behavior. It is a common myth that left-handedness is associated with negative personality traits or criminal tendencies, but this is not supported by scientific research.

Handedness is a biological trait that is determined by genetic and environmental factors, and it is estimated that about 10% of the population is left-handed. Left-handed people are just as capable of committing or avoiding crimes as right-handed people, and any claims to the contrary are unfounded.

It is possible that the direction of a stab could be established based on the wound pattern and the handedness of the assailant. If the stab wound is angled in a particular direction, it may suggest that the assailant was left-handed or right-handed.

However, this does not necessarily mean that the number of suspects can be cut down. It is possible that more than one left-handed suspect could be involved, or that the wound pattern could be influenced by other factors, such as the position of the victim or the angle of the knife.

In any murder investigation, the police and forensic experts will consider a wide range of evidence and factors to identify and eliminate potential suspects, including physical evidence, witness testimony, and motive. The handedness of the assailant may be one factor among many, but it is unlikely to be the sole or decisive factor in identifying a suspect.

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This Day in History: April 4th

Here are ten significant events that occurred on April 4th throughout history:

  1. 1581: Francis Drake is knighted by Queen Elizabeth I on board his ship, the Golden Hind.
  2. 1818: Congress adopts the flag of the United States, with 13 red and white stripes and a blue field with 20 stars.
  3. 1841: William Henry Harrison, the ninth President of the United States, dies from pneumonia after only 31 days in office, making his presidency the shortest in U.S. history.
  4. 1850: Los Angeles, California is incorporated as a city.
  5. 1968: Civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. is assassinated in Memphis, Tennessee.
  6. 1975: Microsoft is founded by Bill Gates and Paul Allen in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
  7. 1979: The overthrow of Zulfikar Ali Bhutto’s government in Pakistan by General Muhammad Zia-ul-Haq.
  8. 1983: Space Shuttle Challenger makes its maiden voyage into space.
  9. 1994: Kurt Cobain, lead singer and guitarist of the grunge band Nirvana, is found dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his Seattle home.
  10. 2017: A suspected chemical attack in Syria’s Idlib province kills more than 80 people, leading to international condemnation and a U.S. missile strike on a Syrian airfield.

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