My mate just passed his NVQ in vegetarianism. He’s quiche stage one. I was once abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, blow my nose, clean my room, and eat my vegetables… Turns out I was on the mothership. My local greengrocer has won a contract to supply root vegetables to the SouthContinue reading “Quote of the Day: Vegetables”
Tag Archives: Humour
Joke of the Day: Garden
In order to make a relationship work you have to make a lot of sacrifices…. Which is why I keep a large number of goats in my garden. My mate dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water…. I think he meant well. As I suspected, someone has been adding soil toContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Garden”
Writing Jokes
Welcome to Writer’s Wit, your go-to place for the funniest jokes about the trials and tribulations of writing! Whether you’re a novelist, journalist, blogger, or simply someone who enjoys the written word, we’ve got the perfect jokes to tickle your funny bone. From the quirks of grammar to the woes of writer’s block, our collection celebrates the humor in every writer’s journey. Dive in and enjoy a good laugh as you relate to the comical side of crafting prose and poetry!
Joke of the Day: Friends
Just changed my Facebook name to ‘benefits’ so when you add me it says ‘You are now friends with benefits’. A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realised that toucan play at that game. An inventor shows his friend the first knife ever. His friend says, “Wow! That’sContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Friends”
Joke of the Day: Crosswords
I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can’t remember his name, it’s P something T something R. If you see someone doing a crossword today, lean over and say 7up is lemonade. My teacher always said, “violence is never the answer”. I’m stuck on the last clue on a £1000 prize crossword. 26Continue reading “Joke of the Day: Crosswords”
Chemistry Jokes
Explore a beaker of chemistry jokes—from atomic puns to reaction riddles. Perfect for science enthusiasts and pun lovers alike, these witty one-liners will have you laughing along every step of the periodic table.
Joke of the Day: Royalty
Which king invented the fireplace? Alfred The Grate. I’ve invented a new Kings of Leon smoke alarm . Instead of just beeping it goes, Whooooooooooooooooooohhhoooooooooooa your house is on fire. Simba was always the last of the pride to get out of bed. He was the lie-in king. Why is it that so many KingsContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Royalty”
Joke of the Day: Tea and Coffee
I’m about to have a cup of dangerous coffee. Safe tea first though. I just read that Rod Stewart has five drinks of tea a day, all of varying sizes. The first cup is the deepest… My Dad used to say “Take everything with a pinch of salt”. Lovely man, made terrible tea though… JustContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Tea and Coffee”
Joke of the Day: Flies
Bought a can of fly spray from the supermarket today. Sprayed it all over myself, and I still can’t fly. What if the fly on the wall told the elephant in the room about the skeleton in the cupboard…? What do you call a fly with no wings? Still a fly. The irony is unfortunate,Continue reading “Joke of the Day: Flies”
Dentist Jokes
Looking for a reason to smile? Our dentist jokes are packed with toothy puns and light-hearted humour about drills, fillings, and floss. Whether you’re a patient or a practitioner, these gags are guaranteed to brighten your day—no anaesthetic required!
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