I met a Dalek in the pub who claimed he was from Devon so I asked him “Whereabouts in Devon are you from mate ?” He replied “EXETER MATE! EXETER MATE!” I was telling a friend that I just got back from seeing a Charlie Chaplin movie in Devon. He said “Torquay?” I said “NoContinue reading “British Humour”
Tag Archives: lol
I once saw two octopuses that looked exactly the same… They must have been itentacle twins. I was at a funeral the other day and a couple in front of me were loudly arguing about which herb goes best with which fish. I could only think it wasn’t the Thyme or Plaice. Why do cowsContinue reading “Thursday Fun”
Mid Week Jokes
I’ve recently been listening to the audio book version of ‘The Lord of the Rings’ read by Robert De Niro… It’s Tolkein Italian… Our local chiropodist has been arrested as he keeps stealing small pieces of nail after treating patients. He’s a clipped toe maniac… Someone asked me if I could name any famous Syrians.Continue reading “Mid Week Jokes”
Some Jokes for Tuesday.
Please remember, for every Rich Tea biscuit, there are currently thousands of tea biscuits living in poverty… My wife and I met on a website for dolphin impersonators. We clicked straight away. If you don’t sniff the air and go ‘Ooh – someone’s having a barbecue!’, are you even British?! Doctor: Your DNA is backwards.Continue reading “Some Jokes for Tuesday.”
I spent hours trying to remember what the opposite of “night” was. But, in the end, I just had to call it a day. Ladies, if there’s a man who remembers your birthday, knows what you enjoy and understands your friends and family… It’s Mark Zuckerberg. I often wonder if the guy who came upContinue reading “Monday Jokes”
Someone told me to try horse manure on my rhubarb. I have to say, I still prefer custard… New idea : invisible aircraft I can’t see that taking off… Some small aquatic mammals have escaped from the Zoo… Otter chaos… Studies have shown that cows will produce more milk when the farmer talks to them…Continue reading “Friday Jokes”
Some Jokes for Monday.
I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes. The doctor says it’s terminal. I said to my boss, “Boss, can I have a week off around Christmas?” He said, “It’s May.” I said, “Sorry. May I have a week off around Christmas?” Just ordered a takeaway from the local Chinese. IContinue reading “Some Jokes for Monday.”
My granddad asked me how to print on his computer. I told him it’s Ctrl-P. He said he hasn’t been able to do that for ages. So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means!? It’s not the end of the world! Atheists don’t solve exponential equations because they don’t believe in higher powers. IContinue reading “Friday’s Jokes.”
Jokes of the day.
Farmers are leaving Facebook in droves. Every time they put down a post. Somebody takes a fence. I couldn’t sleep last night so I read a dictionary By 03:00 I was past caring. My wife claims I’m the cheapest person she’s ever met. I’m not buying it. I once dated a girl who had aContinue reading “Jokes of the day.”