A selection of Jokes to lift your spirits and help you get to the weekend!
Tag Archives: Humour
Thursday Funnies!
A coworker named Celsius recently retired at my work, so they hired a guy named Kelvin to replace him. He’s the new temp. Me: licking lips in anticipation I’m nervous. I’ve never done a bungee jump before. Instructor: don’t lick my lips again. My Himalayan friend has a cow that refuses to stand up. IContinue reading “Thursday Funnies!”
Wednesday Jokes!
Some Jokes for Wednesday.
I hope you enjoy them.
Tuesday Jokes!
Today’s Jokes ….
Monday Mirth!
If I had a pound for every time a customer complained about the price of cinema food… I could almost afford a small popcorn. What’s the friendliest polyatomic ion? Bromate. A clown has been sacked for turning up late for his job at the circus. He is suing for funfair dismissal. A dentist and aContinue reading “Monday Mirth!”
Friday Funnies!
I’m putting back together my band called ‘Bubble Wrap’. All we do is pop… I wasn’t expecting the pizza delivery guy to turn up tonight wearing a Gloria Gaynor face mask! At first I was afraid… During the recent toilet paper shortage I had to resort to using a calendar to wipe with… I’m gladContinue reading “Friday Funnies!”
Thursday Funnies!
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology… Don’t buy it! Someone called me pretentious the other day. I nearly choked on my latte. My mate dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water…. I think he meant well. My wife said to me “There’s 14 reasons why I’m leaving you, andContinue reading “Thursday Funnies!”
Wednesday Jokes!
I hate jokes that rely on visual imagery. I’ve had it right up to here with them. I asked the hotel receptionist for a wake-up call. She rang me room and said, “What the hell are you doing with your life?” I asked my grandmother for “something Cuban” for my birthday, and she got meContinue reading “Wednesday Jokes!”
Tuesday Quips
I went to the doctor. I said to him ‘I’m frightened of lapels.’ He said, ‘You’ve got cholera.’ I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can’t remember his name, its P something T something R. Once formed a band called the Sewing Machines.. Didn’t work out.. Couldn’t get a Singer … FUN FACTContinue reading “Tuesday Quips”
Monday Mega Joke Bundle
My Dad always used to tell me, “Don’t be quick to find faults.” He was a lovely man. Terrible geologist though. My girlfriend just left me because of my obsession with cricket. It’s really hit me for 6. My wife has kicked me out of the house because of my bad Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions. ButContinue reading “Monday Mega Joke Bundle”
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