I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, ‘That’s Aboriginal.’ I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for those who like country music, denigrate means ‘put down. Went to the annual disco for the UK Dyslexic Association lastContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Music”
Tag Archives: lol
Quote of the Day: Vegetables
My mate just passed his NVQ in vegetarianism. He’s quiche stage one. I was once abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, blow my nose, clean my room, and eat my vegetables… Turns out I was on the mothership. My local greengrocer has won a contract to supply root vegetables to the SouthContinue reading “Quote of the Day: Vegetables”
Joke of the Day: Garden
In order to make a relationship work you have to make a lot of sacrifices…. Which is why I keep a large number of goats in my garden. My mate dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water…. I think he meant well. As I suspected, someone has been adding soil toContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Garden”
Cheese Jokes
Dive into our hearty collection of cheese jokes—the perfect blend of sharp wit and creamy puns. Ideal for cheese lovers and comedy fans alike, these dairy-inspired jokes are sure to make you smile.
Chemistry Jokes
Explore a beaker of chemistry jokes—from atomic puns to reaction riddles. Perfect for science enthusiasts and pun lovers alike, these witty one-liners will have you laughing along every step of the periodic table.
Joke of the Day: Royalty
Which king invented the fireplace? Alfred The Grate. I’ve invented a new Kings of Leon smoke alarm . Instead of just beeping it goes, Whooooooooooooooooooohhhoooooooooooa your house is on fire. Simba was always the last of the pride to get out of bed. He was the lie-in king. Why is it that so many KingsContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Royalty”
Joke of the Day: Flies
Bought a can of fly spray from the supermarket today. Sprayed it all over myself, and I still can’t fly. What if the fly on the wall told the elephant in the room about the skeleton in the cupboard…? What do you call a fly with no wings? Still a fly. The irony is unfortunate,Continue reading “Joke of the Day: Flies”
Joke of the Day: Tennis
Ace your day with our collection of hilarious tennis jokes! From witty wordplay to clever quips, find the perfect jokes to share with your tennis buddies or enjoy solo. Ideal for players, fans, and anyone who loves a good laugh.
Joke of the Day: Success
I’ve just successfully bred a cross between a crocodile and a homing pigeon. I bet that’ll come back to bite me… My mate needed a bone marrow transplant. We found a match in Argentina. The operation was a success. Our thanks go out to Diego Marrow Donor. I started carrying a knife after an attemptedContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Success”
Joke of the Day: Money
Never give a donation to anyone collecting for a marathon. They’ll take the money and run. Rabbit hutch salesmen. They’ll give you a run for your money… In the betting shop and my friend told me to put all my money on a horse named Landfill.. Turns out it was a rubbish tip. My farmerContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Money”
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