The Wise Sage returns with another hilariously unhelpful “Advice of the Day.” This time he explains why dogs should be trusted as the ultimate judges of human character. In true Viz Top Tips style, it’s packed with absurd logic, terrible decision-making, and enough canine wisdom to ruin perfectly good friendships.
Tag Archives: Advice
Advice of the Day: Taking the Blame
The Wise Sage returns with another wonderfully irresponsible “Advice of the Day.” This time he explains how to avoid taking the blame for anything by ensuring there’s always somebody else nearby. In true Viz Top Tips style, it’s packed with absurd logic, terrible life advice, and gloriously misplaced confidence.
Advice of the Day: Cleaning the Bathroom
Advice of the Day: Cleaning the Bathroom
Today’s Viz Top Tip:
Save time cleaning your bathroom by setting off a small, controlled explosion and starting again.
Bathroom cleaning can involve scrubbing, chemicals, and an uncomfortable awareness of what you’re actually dealing with. The Wise Sage believes this is an inefficient use of both time and dignity.
Instead, take a more decisive approach. By removing the bathroom entirely, you eliminate not only the dirt, but the very concept of cleaning. A carefully judged detonation (or, failing that, aggressive demolition with a hammer while muttering “that’ll do it”) allows you to return the room to a blank canvas — or at least a vaguely alarming hole.
For those seeking a less dramatic method, the Sage recommends turning on all taps, blocking the drains, and allowing nature to conduct a full-scale “rinse cycle” of the entire room. Over time, either the bathroom will be clean, or it will no longer be recognisably a bathroom — both acceptable outcomes.
If questioned, simply say you are “renovating.” This is a remarkably versatile explanation and will prevent most follow-up enquiries.
As always, The Sage accepts no responsibility for structural damage, confused neighbours, or explaining to an insurance company why your sink is now in the garden.
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The Wise Sage returns with another hilariously reckless “Advice of the Day.” This time he tackles cleaning the bathroom with a completely unusable, nuclear-level solution involving demolition and total reset. In true Viz Top Tips style, this guide is absurd, chaotic, and guaranteed to avoid actual cleaning altogether.
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Advice of the Day: Drying Your Laundry
The Wise Sage returns with another hilariously reckless “Advice of the Day.” This time he tackles drying laundry with a bold, counter-intuitive method: wearing wet clothes to speed up the process. In true Viz Top Tips style, this guide to household efficiency is absurd, uncomfortable, and dangerously practical.
Advice of the Day: Remembering People’s Names
The Wise Sage returns with another hilariously reckless “Advice of the Day.” This time he tackles remembering people’s names with bold, counter-intuitive wisdom. In true Viz Top Tips style, this guide suggests avoiding the problem entirely, resulting in awkward conversations, clever deflections, and surprisingly effective social survival tactics.
Advice of the Day: Picking Your Nose in Public
The Wise Sage returns with another hilariously reckless “Advice of the Day.” This time he tackles the delicate subject of picking your nose in public with bold, counter-intuitive confidence. In true Viz Top Tips style, this guide turns social embarrassment into a display of authority, resulting in awkward yet strangely effective behaviour.
Advice of the Day: Choosing a Ringtone
The Wise Sage returns with another hilariously reckless “Advice of the Day.” This time he tackles choosing a ringtone with bold, counter-intuitive wisdom. In true Viz Top Tips style, this guide suggests using embarrassment as motivation to answer calls quickly, resulting in awkward, noisy, and highly effective phone habits.
Advice of the Day: Sneaking Food into the Cinema
The Wise Sage returns with another hilariously reckless “Advice of the Day.” This time he tackles sneaking food into the cinema with bold, counter-intuitive strategies involving hidden snacks and supreme confidence. In true Viz Top Tips style, this guide to avoiding overpriced popcorn is absurd, mischievous, and dangerously amusing.
Advice of the Day: Pretending You’re Not In
The Wise Sage returns with another hilariously reckless “Advice of the Day.” This time he tackles the art of pretending you’re not in with a surreal, counter-intuitive strategy: stay hidden at all times. In true Viz Top Tips style, this guide to avoiding visitors is absurd, paranoid, and dangerously amusing.
Advice of the Day: Pretending to Listen
The Wise Sage returns with another hilariously reckless “Advice of the Day.” This time he tackles the art of pretending to listen with bold, counter-intuitive techniques for appearing engaged without actually paying attention. In true Viz Top Tips style, this guide to social survival is clever, absurd, and dangerously effective.
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