The Wise Sage returns with another spectacularly unhelpful “Advice of the Day,” tackling the delicate art of comforting someone who is crying. His solution? Ask whether it’s because of their haircut. In classic Viz Top Tips style, this absurd guide demonstrates how one badly chosen question can transform emotional support into an entirely new crisis.
Tag Archives: fiction
Advice of the Day: Pulling Dad’s Finger
The Wise Sage delivers another hilariously unhelpful “Advice of the Day,” warning children everywhere never to pull Dad’s finger—no matter how convincing he sounds. Packed with childish humour, family nostalgia and classic Viz Top Tips-style absurdity, this guide celebrates one of the oldest practical jokes ever inflicted on unsuspecting youngsters.
Advice of the Day: Picking Things Up
The Wise Sage returns with another gloriously unhelpful “Advice of the Day,” explaining why you should never rush to pick up something you’ve dropped. In true Viz Top Tips style, this absurd guide suggests that patient staring and strategic awkwardness are all you need to persuade complete strangers to do the bending for you.
This Day in History – 28th July 1721
On 28th July 1721, Matthew Clarke was executed for murdering Sarah Goldington during a robbery at Willesden Green. His detailed confession reveals a failed marriage scheme, a robbery planned to raise money, overwhelming remorse, terrifying dreams, and a final plea for others to learn from his tragic and violent downfall.
Advice of the Day: Where to Keep Your Change
The Wise Sage returns with another absurd “Advice of the Day,” this time tackling the mystery of loose change. In true Viz Top Tips style, this humorous guide replaces organisation with chaos—offering a counter-intuitive approach to storing coins that ensures they are always somewhere… just rarely where you need them.
Advice of the Day: Feeding the Ducks
The Wise Sage delivers another absurd “Advice of the Day,” this time tackling the deceptively simple task of feeding ducks. In true Viz Top Tips style, this humorous guide replaces gentle feeding with chaos, drama, and questionable snack choices—offering a counter-intuitive approach that may leave you followed, judged, or mildly outnumbered.
This Day in History: 7 May 1740
John Sawney was executed on 7 May 1740 for robbing Sarah Cockram of her cloak in Drury Lane. A former sailor turned soldier, his life spiralled into crime and drink. Captured moments after the theft, he was convicted and sentenced to death in a stark example of 18th-century justice
This Day in History – 22 April 1789
In 1789, servant Sarah Natchell was accused of stealing over £45 from Bartholomew Coffee House in West Smithfield. Though only convicted of stealing tea-cloths, the betrayal of household trust earned her a harsh sentence: seven years’ transportation to New South Wales aboard the Lady Juliana.
This Day in History: April 14th, 1860
In 1860, a routine police check in Marylebone turned violent when two men brutally attacked Constable Thomas Bell with life-preservers. Mistaking them for help, he was struck down and left bleeding in the street. Both attackers were later captured and sentenced to eight years’ penal servitude.
This Day in History: 10 April 1771
In 1771, sailor John Commings was convicted of perjury after falsely accusing Captain Richard Broad of murdering Thomas Scott aboard the King David. This remarkable Old Bailey case exposed contradictions, collapsing testimony, and the deadly danger of false evidence in an age when a man’s life could hang on a witness’s word.
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