Joke of the Day: Wednesday’s bottomless bucket of jokes

The problem with sex in the movies is the popcorn usually spills. Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t. I went to the doctor because every time I opened my eyes, I vomited everywhere. He looked me over and said it was the worstContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Wednesday’s bottomless bucket of jokes”

Advice of the Day: Sustenance

Always drink upstream from the herd. The metaphor “Always drink upstream from the herd” means that it is better to take preventative measures and avoid potential problems before they happen. The metaphor originates from the practice of cowboys and ranchers who would herd cattle across rivers or streams. The metaphor suggests that one should alwaysContinue reading “Advice of the Day: Sustenance”

Joke of the Day: Tuesday’s tirade of trifles …

I’ve just been to a pub called “The Old Fiddle”. I wouldn’t go there again though, it was a vile inn… The first rule of ‘Cliff Richard Club’ is that we don’t talk anymore about ‘Cliff Richard Club’… Puns about ‘Riverdance’? I flatley refuse to post them. Police have arrested a man allegedly caught stealingContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Tuesday’s tirade of trifles …”

Thought of the Day: Worms

All worms are earth worms. While it is true that all worms found on Earth come from planet Earth, it is not accurate to say that all worms are earthworms. The term “earthworm” specifically refers to a type of worm that belongs to the family Lumbricidae, as I mentioned earlier. Other types of worms, suchContinue reading “Thought of the Day: Worms”

Joke of the Day: Monday’s pungent packet of puns

If you say the word ‘gullible’ very, very, VERY slowly. It sounds like orange. Was driving down the motorway yesterday in a hearse. Police pulled me over for undertaking. I spent ages trying to cross a busy road… A passer-by said, “There’s a pelican crossing up the road”. I replied “I hope he’s having betterContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Monday’s pungent packet of puns”

Advice of the Day: Circumspection

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you. You should never corner something that you know is meaner than you because it will likely react aggressively to defend itself. When an animal or a person feels trapped and threatened, they may lash out and attack as a form of self-preservation. This canContinue reading “Advice of the Day: Circumspection”