The Wise Sage returns with another wildly unhelpful “Advice of the Day,” this time tackling home security. In true Viz Top Tips style, this absurd guide replaces sensible precautions with confusion, noise, and mild chaos—offering a hilariously counter-intuitive approach to deterring burglars that may also deter absolutely everyone else.
Author Archives: The Sage Page
Advice of the Day: Sticking to a Diet
The Wise Sage delivers another gloriously unhelpful “Advice of the Day,” this time tackling the challenge of sticking to a diet. With absurd logic, questionable science, and classic Viz Top Tips humour, this guide redefines dieting entirely—offering a surreal, counter-intuitive approach that replaces discipline with denial, distraction, and creative reinterpretation.
Quote of the Day: Imagination
Today’s Quote of the Day from The Sage reflects on direction and identity: “Orientation tells you where you stand; imagination tells you what sort of inhabitant you might become.” A thoughtful reminder that understanding your position matters, but shaping who you are within it matters even more.
This Day in History: 5 May 1736
On 5 May 1736, Moses Gladwin was sentenced to death for shoplifting silk handkerchiefs worth 40 shillings. Caught hiding the goods under layered coats, his defiant defence failed, and the Old Bailey jury convicted him under England’s harsh “Bloody Code” laws.
Advice of the Day: Answering the Front Door
The Wise Sage returns with another hilariously reckless “Advice of the Day.” This time he tackles answering the front door with a bizarre, counter-intuitive strategy involving crash helmets and pineapples. In true Viz Top Tips style, this guide to avoiding awkward conversations is absurd, surreal, and gloriously unhelpful.
This Day in History: 29 April 1724
On 29 April 1724, Thomas Burden was executed for robbing elderly William Zouch at swordpoint. After tying the old man to a chair and stealing 31 shillings, Burden was quickly captured and sentenced to death, later blaming the Devil and drink for his downfall.
This Day in History: 25 April 1746
On 25 April 1746, nineteen-year-old servant Matthew Henderson was executed for murdering his mistress, Elizabeth Dalrymple. His confession shocked London: he claimed he had no clear motive, only a sudden temptation that led to one of the Old Bailey’s most disturbing domestic murders.
Quote of the Day: Philosophy
Today’s Quote of the Day from The Sage reflects on truth and status: “A genuine philosophy has little interest in hierarchy; truth rarely sits at the head of the table.” A thoughtful reminder that wisdom is found in honesty and attention, not titles, rank, or the best seat.
Advice of the Day: Never Losing Your TV Remote
The Wise Sage returns with another hilariously reckless “Advice of the Day.” This time he tackles the age-old problem of losing the TV remote with a bold, counter-intuitive solution involving broom handles and ceremonial dignity. In true Viz Top Tips style, this guide is absurd, impractical, and strangely convincing.
This Day in History: 24 April 1723
On 24 April 1723, five men were tried for the murder of Anne Bristol after she was found dying on Smallberry Green. Witnesses heard screams, surgeons found brutal injuries, and confessions were read—yet every accused man was acquitted.
The Sage Page 